Funny Statement Part 1

"Light a man a fire and you keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life".

"Teach a man to fish and you’ll feed him for the rest of his life. Teach a man to phish and he’ll clean out your bank account".

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes".

"Nobody is perfect, I am a nobody. Therefore, I am perfect".

"Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass".

"Never forget a friend, especially those who owe you".

"The 50-50-90 rule – Any time you have a 50:50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% chance you’ll get it wrong".

"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"

"Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do".

"If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three".

Whoever said “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has obviously never tried it.

"I sleep like a baby every night. I wake up every three or four hours and cry".

"If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out".

"If you think money can’t buy happiness, you don’t know where to shop".